


Make The Yuletide Gay

by maschinenmensch



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: A little angst, Christmas, Christmas fic, F/F, Fluff, Holtzbert - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8860177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maschinenmensch/pseuds/maschinenmensch
Summary: A blizzard results in Erin and Holtzmann spending Christmas together. Three days alone with nothing but each other and some unresolved feels.





	1. Christmas Eve

**Author's Note:**

> Jeez, what is it with me and Holtzbert Christmas-themed fics? I promise this is the last one. Enjoy the fluff.

Erin knew she should have taken Abby’s advice and booked the same flight to Michigan for the holidays. It was just Erin tried to spend as little time with her family as possible, for her own mental health. It seemed like a good idea that she’d fly out on the morning of Christmas Eve, one less night spent in her childhood home being reminded of everything she’d worked so hard to overcome.

Except she wasn’t counting on a Christmas Eve blizzard hitting NYC.

She trudged through six inches of snow, dragging her carry-on behind her while holding her scarf to her face in an effort to protect herself from the strong winds. After a phone call with her mother at the airport to tell her that she would be missing the holidays with the family since there basically was a ground stop (and boy, wasn’t that a conversation of endless guilt trips), she managed to snag one of the few taxis that was braving the weather at the airport. The Ghostbusters’ firehouse was a much closer ride than her apartment, and considering the roads, Erin had decided she’d crash there until the storm passed. Unfortunately the roads were nearly impassable, so she had to walk the last two blocks to the firehouse, the cab driver unable to get down the street without risking getting stuck.

 _At least I’ll have some solitude at the firehouse._ With Abby in Michigan, Patty staying with her cousins in Jersey and Holtzmann well, she’d be off to parts unknown (“I have plans,” she had assuredly told Erin. “Biiiiig ones.”), Erin would be able to get a little peace and quiet in what otherwise was a hectic time of year. Maybe she’d even be able to spend time on that one equation that had been giving her issues for weeks.

The snow was so heavy she could barely open the door to the firehouse, just managing to get herself and her luggage inside. Erin was brushing the snow off the shoulders of her coat when she heard a noise from upstairs. It sounded like clanking. And then the unmistakable sounds of the bass line from a somewhat familiar pop tune.

_She didn’t…_

“Holtzmann?” Erin questioned as she approached the stairs to the second floor. She peered upward and was treated by the sight of Holtz frantically running down the stairs, eyes wide.

“Gilbert? Shouldn't you be in Michigan? And more importantly, are you ok - you look like a snowman. Here, let me take your coat off for you.”

The engineer slid the now soaked coat off of Erin’s shoulders and carefully laid it on the back of one of the office chairs. As she took the scarf from the physicist to hang up to dry as well, she gave Erin a squeeze on her upper arm, causing feelings to surge through her that she had been trying to suppress for months on end.

“I thought you said you had big plans for the holidays?”

“I did. My plan was to get some work done and eat horrible food while you guys weren’t here. There was also the bonus of being able to solder in my skivvies, so I hope you don’t mind that I’m intending to keep that on my schedule.” Holtzmann followed up that last statement with a wink, causing Erin’s stomach to flutter.

“But Holtzy - don’t you have anyone to spend the holiday with?”

The carefree look on Holtzmann’s face disappeared, as if someone had flipped a switch. She looked down at the ground, her voice quiet, uncomfortable.

“No. But now I have you Erin.”

Erin couldn't help but feel sad with the knowledge Holtzmann had planned on spending the holidays in solitude.

_Then again, so were you…_

Holtzmann brought her head back up to look at Erin, a less pained expression now on her face.

“Ok Dr. Gilbert, you need to get on the couch and huddle under some blankets so you can warm up. In the meantime, I'll whip us up a batch of hot chocolate. Abby will have my head if I let you turn into a popsicle under my watch.”

“All right Holtzy, thanks.”

Erin smiled as she turned to the firehouse’s couch, taking off her boots before grabbing several blankets piled on one of the cushions. She plopped down, snuggling under the blankets before closing her eyes and resting her head on the couch’s back.

“Here ya go!”

Erin opened her eyes after several minutes to see Holtzmann thrusting a mug emblazoned with Care Bears at her.

"I wasn't sure if you liked marshmallows or whipped cream on your hot chocolate, so I gave you both.”

“Thanks Holtzy. What did you put on yours?”

“Both.” Holtzmann grinned broadly before taking a sip out of her mug.

“Here, I have blankets to spare.” Erin patted the cushion on the couch next to her, hoping the engineer would agree to sit under the blankets with her. _Just as friends_ , Erin tried telling herself. _Just as friends_.

Holtzmann hesitated a moment before smiling and jumping on the cushion next to Erin, nearly causing the physicist to spill her hot chocolate. She slid under one of the blankets Erin had lifted up. She tried not to notice Holtz’s thigh pressing up against her own. How warm it was. How right it felt being close to the engineer under a mountain of blankets.

Erin glanced over at the blonde who was currently taking a drink out of her mug. She had to suppress a giggle when Holtzmann pulled the mug away from her lips, leaving a whipped cream mustache in its wake.

“Holtz - you have whipped cream all over -” Erin made a gesture pointing at her lips.

“Oh, I was planning on saving that for later Gilbert. But thanks for caring.” Holtzmann proceeded to lick the whipped cream from above her lip. Erin tried not to stare, but it was mesmerizing. _If I didn’t know any better, she did that slowly on purpose._

The two women sat in a comfortable silence as they finished their beverages. When Holtzmann drained the last of her hot chocolate from her mug, she took Erin’s empty cup from her hand.

“It’s not gourmet, but considering there’s no way anyone will deliver to us tonight, do you want a PB&J sandwich for dinner? I’ve been told I make really good ones.”

 _She’s so cute._ “Sure Holtzy.”

“Great!” Holtzmann jumped up from under the blankets, Erin momentarily lamenting the loss of feeling the engineer’s body so close to her own.

Holtz stopped shortly before entering the kitchen. She turned and gave Erin a questioning look.

“I have a really important question to ask you Gilbert.”

“Um, ok.” _Why am I nervous?_

“Creamy or crunchy?”

“Uh, creamy.”

“Damn!” Holtzmann feigned disappointment. “I like crunchy best. Eh, I guess I can overlook this difference in lifestyle. But only for you E.” Holtz winked before turning around and heading into the kitchen.

Erin tried not to turn into a puddle on the couch.

\---

“Die Hard is not a Christmas movie Holtzmann!”

“I beg to differ. Not only is it a Christmas classic, it’s the best holiday movie, hands down!

“Well I’m not watching it Holtzy. Pick another one.”

Holtzmann made a disgruntled noise as she continued to flip through the somewhat meager DVD collection the Ghostbusters had at the firehouse. Due to the storm the satellite had gone out, leaving the two women limited things to watch on the TV.

“How about this?”

Erin squinted to read the title of the DVD that Holtzmann was holding up.

“Monty Python and the Holy Grail?”

Holtzmann shrugged. “It’s kind of a religious movie. Besides the options here are minimal and I think we could both use a good chuckle.”

Erin smiled. “Sure, Holtzy. Pop it in.”

The engineer put the disc in the DVD player and bounded back to the couch. Erin gladly lifted up the blankets again to allow Holtzmann to get under them, secretly pleased they’d be watching the movie together so closely.

It wasn't long before Holtzmann wrapped her arm around the back of the couch, slowly letting it slide down to wrap loosely around Erin’s shoulders. The physicist steeled herself mentally and eventually rested her head on Holtz’s shoulders. When the blonde made a contented sigh, she snuggled up closer, feeling like her heart was about to burst out of her chest when Holtzmann started lightly playing with her hair.

 _I could get used to this,_ Erin thought, smiling as she heard Holtzmann laugh at something in the movie.

She fell asleep shortly thereafter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally I think this is kind of crap, but I kinda committed myself to finishing this, so here we are. Not that it's any different from what I normally post.
> 
> Come bother me on tumblr @geekmisconduct because I enjoy the attention.


	2. Christmas Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I guess you guys liked the last chapter? Anyway, carrying on with the holiday themed fluffy grossness.

Erin awoke to find herself on the couch, an extra cushion placed under her head, several blankets piled on top of her. She rubbed her eyes, trying to remember what had happened last night.

_I must have fallen asleep during the movie. And wait, where’s Holtzmann?_

“Merry Christmas sweet cheeks. I made breakfast!”

Holtzmann stood over her holding two plates, both containing several waffles with plenty of syrup. The engineer gently placed them on the small coffee table in front of Erin.

“I normally make waffles from scratch, but I’m out of eggs so unfortunately frozen will have to do. Sorry about that.” Holtzmann nervously scratched behind her ear, as if she was worried Erin would judge her for her choice of breakfast foods.

Erin pushed the covers back and stood up, placing a hand on Holtzmann’s shoulder.

“Holtz, that was very sweet of you to make breakfast. I don’t care what kind of waffles they are - I’m hungry and they look delicious.”

Holtzmann looked nearly giddy, making Erin feel all warm on the inside.

“Oh crud, I made coffee too. Hang on let me get -”

“You sit down and start eating Holtz. I’ll grab the coffee. Oh and -” Erin leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the blonde’s cheek. “Merry Christmas to you too Holtzmann.”

Erin noticed Holtzmann’s face was slightly flushed as she turned around to grab the coffee from the kitchen.

_She looks like she just received the best Christmas present ever. Maybe I just did too._

\---

Normally Erin would be in the midst of some form of mental breakdown at this time on Christmas Day. Being with her family in any situation was enough to send her anxiety levels through the roof, but adding that with the stress of the holiday (which her mother always insisted *had* to be perfect, feelings and reality be damned), often times took her weeks to recover from mentally.

This Christmas was decidedly different.

After breakfast, she and Holtzmann had spent the morning playing board games, the engineer getting slightly sullen when Erin had beaten her at Scrabble three times in a row. Holtzmann had whipped her ass in Sorry though, whooping and throwing her hands in the air when she had emerged victorious. After a light lunch of some canned chicken alphabet soup (“it’s shit without the letters Gilbert,” Holtzmann had insisted), the two women had returned to the couch, Erin reading one of Patty’s historical novels she had found intriguing on the firehouse’s bookshelf, Holtzmann’s head in her lab. The physicist tried her best not to get distracted by the warmth she felt with Holtz’s blue eyes looking up at her often, when she wasn’t playing some cat collecting game on her phone that was making her giggle incessantly. Eventually Erin rested her free hand on Holtzmann’s stomach, noticing the engineer shivered slightly when she did so.

“Look at this cat Erin - his name is Tubbs and he eats all the food you put out. He’s such a little shit. I love him so much.” Erin looked down at Holtzmann’s phone screen, not exactly sure what she was talking about, but finding the bright smile on her face beyond adorable.

“That’s cute Holtzy.”

“Oh and I think the snow stopped this morning. Wanna go for a walk?”

Erin beamed. “I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do right now Holtz.”

\---

For the largest city in the country, New York City was eerily quiet. Only the major roads had been plowed at that point, leaving very few cars on the road, even at mid-afternoon. Despite the fact it was Christmas, Holtz and Erin had found a convenience store several blocks from the firehouse that was open. Holtzmann had sent Erin to pick a bottle from the shop’s rather limited wine selection for dinner, insisting that she shop in private so she could surprise the physicist with whatever meal she could concoct from the things she could find in the store.

The two women headed back to the firehouse after completing their shopping, Holtzmann carrying a bag in each hand, Erin a sack containing the wine. As they passed an empty public park, Erin got a twinkle in her eyes. She paused, letting Holtzmann walk in front of her.

“Hey Holtzy! Catch!”

“Huh?” The engineer had barely turned around before she was whapped in the face by a freshly made snowball.

“Why you - come back here!” Holtzmann gently placed the bags of groceries down on a snow bank next to the bottle of wine Erin had already lain there. She took off in a sprint toward the physicist who had already started running away, and was able to catch up with her in a matter of moments.

“Oof,” Erin felt some of the air in her lungs expel as Holtz tackled her from behind, wrapping her arms around her waist. Both women fell in a pile of freshly fallen snow, Erin on her back, Holtzmann somehow on top of her, their faces inches apart.

 _How many times have you dreamt of Holtzy laying on top of you like this?_ Erin could feel Holtzmann’s warm breath on her face, the engineer’s bright blue eyes boring into her own. The physicist closed her eyes, willing Holtz to bring her face just a little closer to pull her into a kiss she had been *aching* for for months.

“Snow angel!”

Holtzmann’s voice was nearly gleeful as she rolled off Erin, proceeding to wave her arms and legs to make an impression in the snow.

“C’mon Erin - aren’t you going to make one too?” Holtz lifted her head up so she could look the physicist in the eyes. “Or are you secretly a devil?” The blonde gave Erin one of her trademarks winks, making her wish even more she had taken a risk and pressed her lips to the engineer’s moments ago.

“I am no such thing, pffff,” Erin scoffed as she made her own snow angel, turning her head to look at Holtzmann as she did so. The two women giggled and laid on their backs in the snow, looking at the clear blue sky above them.

“We don’t get White Christmases very often. This is pretty special.”

“It’s even more special I get to spend it with you Gilbert.”

Erin tilted her head to look at Holtzmann, who had a somewhat serious look on her face. When their eyes met, the blonde’s face broke into a wide smile. She pulled herself up out of the snow, offering her hand to Erin before lifting her up. Both women brushed the excess snow off their coats, Holtzmann also brushing some out of her hair as she had refused to wear a hat despite Erin’s pleading. They walked over to where they had stashed the groceries in the snow, Holtzmann picking up both bags in one hand so she could again extend her hand to Erin. The physicist slipped her wooly gloved hand into Holtz’s leather covered one, relishing the warmth that spread through her when their hands fit together.

“Let's head back - I have a Christmas dinner to make for a very pretty lady.”

“Did you invite someone else over Holtz?”

“Oh shoosh. Mind the ice on the sidewalk ok?”

\---

“The Life of Brian?”

“Well it is Jesus’s birthday. It’s kinda appropriate, right?”

Holtzmann slipped the DVD into the player and walked back to sit next to Erin on the couch. They resumed their position from the previous evening, huddled under blankets, Holtz’s arm wrapped around the physicist’s shoulders, Erin resting her head on the blonde’s chest. Neither of them had dared mention what this cuddling meant - Erin suspected it meant a lot more to her than the engineer, so she decided to enjoy this new closeness between the two of them while they could.

“Do you own all the Monty Python movies Holtzy?”

“Maaaaaaybe. They’re fun to watch when I’m here by myself late some evenings. Sometimes I just need a good laugh ya know?”

Erin looked at Holtzmann who was concentrating on the television, her mouth set in a somewhat serious straight line. She wondered what was going on in the engineer’s head that she felt the need to take a break from it by watching ridiculous British comedy.

_One day I’ll ask her. One day…_

“Everyone needs to laugh now and again Holtzy. You don’t need to explain yourself. Trust me, I know.”

Erin reached over and touched Holtzmann’s free hand, intertwining their fingers. She felt the blonde rub her thumb against the back of her knuckles, unable to prevent the slight hitch in her breathing at the sensation.

When Holtzmann turned to smile at her she couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through her body, not unlike when the blonde proudly presented the Christmas dinner she had prepared herself just a few hours ago. Erin had no idea that the engineer could cook, but what she had made out of a canned ham and vegetables and frozen rolls nearly took her breath away. The fact that Holtzmann had cooked it all for *her* made it difficult for her to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks as she ate the meal amidst pleasant dinner conversation with the woman sitting across the table from her.

_I don’t know if anyone’s ever made me feel this special before. And I’m not sure if she knows she’s doing it._

\---

As the credits rolled, Erin gently leaned forward to grab the tv remote off the coffee table. She glanced behind her, smiling softly at the blonde bespectacled woman with her head thrown back, a slight puddle of drool forming in one of the corners of her open mouth.

“Holtzy?” Erin lightly shook the engineer's shoulder. “Movie’s over, you should go to bed.”

“I missed the part where they sing about the bright side of life, didn't I?” Holtz quietly mumbled.

Erin snorted. “Yes, Holtzmann you did. C’mon silly, get up and get into your bed. I’ll take the couch again.”

Holtzmann rubbed her face. “Nuh-uh, that couch sucks to sleep on. Trust me, I know. The mattress I have upstairs is a queen. There’s plenty of room and I promise I won’t drool on you. I can’t promise I won’t steal most of the covers though.” The blonde smirked.

Erin hoped the look on her face didn’t betray the turmoil she was feeling inside. She wanted nothing more than to share a bed with the engineer, but worried what could happen if she did.

_Will I make a move on her? Will she? If I do, will it be rebuffed? What if -_

“Gilbert. Stop woolgathering and meet me upstairs after you’ve changed into your pajamas. Or not, whichever you prefer. I won’t judge.” Holtzmann gave the physicist a two fingered salute before bouncing up the staircase, leaving Erin gaping behind her.

Erin quickly changed into her simple cotton 2-piece pajama set, biting her lip as she ascended the staircase both out of anticipation and sheer terror. When she came to the door of the former storage closet that Holtz had transformed into a makeshift bedroom she knocked lightly.

“Come in.”

The sight that greeted Erin as she opened the door literally took her breath away. Holtzmann had changed into a pair of boxers and a loose t-shirt with the collar stretched out. But what captivated Erin was Holtzmann’s hair - she had completely unpinned it so her blonde hair cascaded down her back and shoulders in waves and curls. She turned to look at the physicist, a slight twinkle in her eye.

_She’s...beautiful._

“Like what you see?”

“Um, sorry,” Erin stammered. “It’s just I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair completely down. It’s uh, very pretty?”

_Oh my god Erin, you sound like an idiot._

“Why thank you Gilbert. I don’t let my hair down for just anyone you know. Both literally and figuratively.” Holtzmann flopped down on the mattress that was on the floor. She patted the empty portion of the bed beside her.

“See, plenty of room.”

“Yeah, um thanks.” Erin nervously moved to lay down next to Holtzmann, hoping her face wasn't as red as she suspected it was.

“Sorry if the pillow’s a little flat - I don’t have any extras so I gave you one of mine.” Holtz pulled up a large fleece Star Wars patterned blanket from the end of the bed, covering the two of them.

Erin laid on her side, facing the wall. She could feel Holtzmann’s body heat radiating from her even though they were not touching. She had no idea how she was going to get to sleep in her current distracted state.

“Hey Erin?”

The physicist rolled over, surprised to see a somewhat serious expression on the engineer’s face.

“Yeah Holtzy?”

“I’m really happy your flight got cancelled. Sorry, not sorry.”

Erin lightly brushed one of Holtzmann’s curls off her forehead.

“I’m really glad too Holtz.”


	3. Boxing Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being a little angstier than I expected in this last chapter. Oops. Sorry about that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Erin wakes up to an arm draped around her middle, warm breath tickling the back of her neck. It takes her a moment to remember what happened, to realize who is embracing her in their sleep.

_Holtzmann._

Part of her wants to stay in this position as long as possible. Laying next to the engineer so closely, their bodies intertwined, feels *so right.* But part of her wonders if Holtzmann even meant to do this.

The decision is made for her when the blonde stirs. Erin tries not to whimper when Holtzmann rolls over, the connection between their two bodies lost.

“Sorry about that. I must have thought you were a teddy bear.”

Holtzmann’s voice is soft, still having the dreamy tone of a person that is not completely awake. Erin turns to look at her and notices the engineer looks almost embarrassed.

_Is she sorry she cuddled up to me at all? Or sorry that it doesn’t mean more?_

Erin decides not to ruminate on it for the moment - there will be time for that later. She wants to enjoy what is most likely the last day the two of them will spend alone together.

“I’m going to shower. I’ll put the coffee on when I finish ok?”

The physicist gives Holtz a smile before getting up and exiting the room. She doesn’t notice the longing in Holtzmann’s eyes after she turns around. Nor the sigh as she walks through the doorway.

\---

Erin sips her coffee while leaning against the counter in the kitchen. She heard the shower turn off just moments ago, and knows Holtzmann will soon be joining her. The physicist also knows she has a decision to make.

_I have two choices: tell Holtzmann how I feel about her, or keep playing this game until the end of time._

She lets out a small grunt of frustration as she drains the coffee from her mug, turning around to pour herself another cup.

_And just how do you feel about Holtzmann?_

Erin knows she’s fallen for the quirky engineer. She never meant to, it just happened. She finds herself thinking of blonde hair and blue eyes and a wink that makes her insides feel like jelly almost constantly. Erin imagines nights spent pressing their naked bodies against one another, date nights and holding each other’s hands as they walk down the street. She can’t imagine her life without her.

_You’re in love with her._

The realization hits her like a truck. She puts her mug down on the counter and grips the edges of it, feeling slightly light-headed. The moment is short-lived as she hears the sound of someone sliding down the firepole behind her, heavy boots hitting the floor.

“Hiya cupcake!”

Erin turns around to see Holtzmann grinning at her, damp hair pinned sloppily on top of her head, glasses hanging from one ear. The physicist’s breath catches in her throat now fully understanding how much this woman means to her.

“Hey Holtzy. Happy Boxing Day.”

“Ooh, boxing.” Holtzmann starts shadow boxing while humming the Rocky theme, coaxing a smile from the physicist.

“I know you know what it actually means you goofball.” Erin fills up Holtz’s Care Bear mug with coffee and hands it to her, knowing the engineer prefers it black.

“But I like to be punny E.” Holtzmann puts the mug to her lips as Erin tries not to be distracted by the bit of tongue that pokes out as the blonde takes the first sip of her coffee.

“You make a good pot of coffee Gilbert. You’re wife material ya know.”

There’s a beat of awkward silence, Holtzmann looking almost pointedly at the ground, Erin turning red despite her best efforts not to. The younger woman clears her throat and heads toward the refrigerator.

“Hey I bought eggs yesterday. How do you feel about omelets for brunch?”

Erin tamps down the turmoil that is raging inside of her.

“Sounds good Holtzy.”

\---

They spend the rest of the morning and early part of the afternoon on the couch again, watching a variety of programs now that the satellite has finally been restored. Holtzmann picks out random cartoons to watch (Tom & Jerry is her favorite), while Erin finds a documentary about pioneering women in science that piques her interest.

The two women huddle under the blankets again, but Erin can’t help but notice Holtzmann is almost tentative around her now. Things seem awkward. And she doesn’t know if she’s imagining things, or the weight of her feelings for the blonde is causing her to overanalyze every single interaction. Erin clears her throat, intending to start a conversation when Holtzmann inadvertently interrupts her.

“So I still have that soldering to do. I promise I’ll keep my pants on while doing it though, just for you. Would you like to keep me company upstairs?” Holtzmann’s blue eyes are bright and Erin can’t help but grin, the engineer’s happiness lifting her spirits.

“Sure thing Holtzmann. I’ll give that stubborn equation I’ve been working on for weeks another crack while I’m up there.”

Holtzmann stands up and winks.

“I’ll meet you up there, I have to find my last can of Pringles. Brain fuel you know?”

As the blonde turns and walks away, Erin closes her eyes.

_Why does this have to be so difficult?_

\---

Erin chews on the end of her pencil. They’ve been up in the lab for two hours, and she’s not any farther along in her work than she was when she came up there. It’s not for lack of trying. She’s just...distracted.

Holtzmann makes little grunting noises as she solders and it’s making Erin sweat in several places, one of which is highly inappropriate. Several times she catches herself staring at the engineer, and almost every time Holtzmann catches her in the act. The blonde gives her back a broad smile, and Erin just screams internally, wanting nothing more but to stride over to the workbench, grab Holtzmann by the collar and…

“Break time!”

Holtzmann slams her tools down on her workbench and cranks the volume on the radio next to her, the sounds of some random pop song filling the air. She takes bouncy steps over to Erin, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

“C’mon Gilbert. Dance with me. It’ll loosen ya up!”

Erin can think of a myriad of reasons why this is a bad idea, how being so close to the engineer could backfire. But Holtzmann extends her hand and beams, and she finds herself slipping her hand into the younger woman’s before she can spare another thought.

At first they don’t touch, Holtzmann bouncing and gyrating to the beat while Erin awkwardly dances in place, her fingers wiggling next to her legs in a nervous symphony. Eventually the blonde reaches for one of her hands and spins her, the physicist unable to suppress a giggle as she does so.

Ultimately Erin’s hands end up on Holtzmann’s shoulders, the younger woman holding her lightly on her hips. She allows herself to sway in time to the music, her eyes closing, getting lost in both the beat and the feel of the engineer so close to her.

The song ends. A slower, more poignant one replaces it. Erin’s eyes snap open.

_I should end this. Go back to work, stop this before…_

She hears Holtzmann expel a deep breath, and looks into eyes that appear to be nervous. Erin feels the engineer grip her hips tighter and pull her toward her, so close she can feel her breath on her face.

 

_The hours pass and I still lie awake,_

_‘Cause I can’t get you off my brain._

_I toss and turn but I still see your face._

_I think it’s driving me insane._

 

Erin feels her mouth go dry, her focus completely on the face of the woman just several inches apart from her.

 

_‘Cause you broke in, took my heart._

_Left me waiting in the dark._

_And I still just can’t let you go._

 

Holtzmann brings a shaky hand up to Erin’s cheek and strokes it lightly. The physicist closes her eyes again, the sensations flowing through her body threatening to overwhelm her.

 

_Baby I don’t want to play_

_Just another waiting game_

_And things will never be the same_

_Without you, without you_

_And I can feel you in my veins,_

_I hear you calling out my name_

_And things will never be the same,_

_Without you, without you_

 

The two women have stopped moving, their bodies intertwined in the middle of the lab. Holtzmann brings her lips close to Erin’s, both women breathing rapidly.

“Holtz -”

The sound of Erin’s voice seemingly snaps Holtzmann out of a trance. The engineer’s eyes go wide. And in a split second she’s pulled away.

“Shit. I’m sorry Erin. So sorry. I -”

Holtzmann spins on a dime and runs like the building is on fire. Erin hears footsteps ascending the staircase to the roof. She stands there in the lab, absolutely stunned.

_What just happened?_

She hears the door to the rooftop slam.

_Go after her. Don’t let it end this way._

Erin grabs her sweater off the back of her chair and runs towards the stairs, pulling it on as she climbs them. She opens the door to the rooftop to find Holtzmann’s back turned to her. The engineer is hugging herself, shivering due to the fact she is only wearing a long sleeved t-shirt with a pair of overalls. A small patch of snow had been cleared earlier by the door. Holtzmann stands on the very edge of it.

“Please go Erin.” The engineer’s voice is shaky and meek and Erin suspects she’s crying. “I need to be alone. I can’t - I can’t be around you right now, knowing you probably are freaked out because of me. Because I can’t help but want to be around you every waking moment. But I know you don’t want this, you don’t -”

“I love you.”

The words slip out before Erin can stop herself. Part of her is absolutely mortified. The other part holds her breath, hoping she hasn’t cocked this up irreversibly.

Holtzmann turns around to face her, blue eyes wide open, cheeks stained with tears.

“What did you say Erin?”

The physicist walks towards Holtz, cupping her cheeks with both hands, thumbs wiping away evidence of the blonde’s sadness.

“I said I love you Holtzmann. Not as a colleague. Not as a friend. As something more.” She presses their foreheads together and murmurs.

“I am hopelessly in love with you Jillian Holtzmann. You’ve stolen my heart.”

Holtzmann’s lips descend on hers before she can even register what’s happening. When she does, she tangles her hands in the messy mop of blonde curls, a desperate groan escaping the engineer’s lips. It’s sensory overload and she’s glad Holtzmann is gripping her hips again, because she’s afraid she might fall over, especially when the blonde’s tongue seeks entrance to her mouth. She allows it. And keens.

They kiss until they’re out of breath and shivering from the cold. Holtzmann pulls away first, eyes still closed. Her voice is so full of emotion Erin feels it in the very depth of her soul.

“I’ve loved you for so long, wanted this so much. But I never thought you’d feel the same way.”  Her eyes open as she moves to stroke one of Erin’s cheeks. “Tell me I’m not dreaming Erin. Tell me this is real.”

“This is real Holtzmann. This is real.”

After another kiss, Erin breaks apart and pulls Holtzmann toward the door.

“C’mon Holtzy, it’s cold out here.”

Erin is greeted by the familiar Holtzmann smirk. She shudders.

“I know a good way to warm ya up Gilbert.”

\---

“You ok baby?”

“Yeah, that was - that was incredible.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Judging by your screams I think I was pretty damn good.”

“Don’t get too cocky now.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Yes you did.”

As Holtzmann leans in for another kiss, their naked bodies still pressed together, she whispers quietly.

“You’re the best Christmas present I’ve ever received.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that pretty much concludes my trio of shameless Holtzbert Christmas fluff. For this holiday season at least. Hope y'all enjoyed. 
> 
> By the way, the song quoted in this chapter is [Without You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh-mdWQnSsU) by Colleen D'Agostino
> 
> Comments are adored. Silly asks on tumblr (@geekmisconduct) are appreciated.


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